Saaaaad.

I think crying now and then is a healthy thing to do, but is crying too much unhealthy?  I guess I could google it and look around on forums and blahblah for hours, but I'm really too lazy.  Today I cried a lot, and I keep just bursting into random crying episodes.  It was just like all the little things I was avoiding crying about all week just suddenly piled up and now I'm just like a nifty little waterfall you can plug in on your coffee table and turn off/on whenever you like.  Except...that I don't like to cry 50 times in a day so it's not really that great.

I'm really sad about my auntie passing away Friday morning.  I was expecting it (just not so fast), so I did have a bit of time to mentally prepare for it to happen, but it still hit me a lot harder than I was expecting considering that I knew about it.  The biggest reason for that is probably that so much of it is exactly like my grandma's death a few years ago and then some of those emotions feel like they've gotten stirred up too so it just doesn't feel too great at all.  And of course I'm incredibly worried about my sister, things aren't sounding super bad but I'm really worried about the chance of her losing her baby.  I didn't really notice it until I was just typing this, but I want kids a lot and the last few months I've been telling myself that's something I don't want, that I'd be a bad mother, blahblah.  But I really do want kids really bad, and the thought of having one die is just really horrible and I don't want my sister (or anyone, really) to have to go through that.

IUNNO.  I guess I don't feel like typing more.