Improvements

Lately I've been thinking a lot about things I want to improve about myself, and the list seems like it keeps getting longer and longer.  They are things I've been wanting to change/improve about myself/my life for a long time but I've never had the motivation to really focus on any of them for an extended period of time.  But now that my list seems to be a mile long, I'm wondering which are really the most important, and if there are some that I don't even really need to bother with.  It's a bit overwhelming, because everything that I've thought of is things I really would like to change...and no matter how many times I think about it there isn't any that seem like they aren't important enough for me to cross off the list.

I really want to be an independent and strong person...but that is so incredibly hard.  At least, it feels that way to me.  I've relied on others for so long and been afraid of things and depressed for so long that everything feels like an insane challenge, even simple things like making a phone call or going out in public...it's really hard to suddenly try to change.  I really want to, and I really need to and this seems like such a great time to do it, but where do I even start?  I've let some of my anxieties get so bad that some things I am absolutely terrified of doing, I get myself into such a panic just thinking that I might have to do them that sometimes I actually make myself physically sick from it.  Being this sort of person is really tiring, and I want to be able to face my fears and move on in life instead of avoiding half the things I encounter because I keep letting my fear take over.  Herp derp.  I know things can't always be easy, but I wish this was a bit easier!

And on the same topic, I started working out a bit yesterday!  Not anything crazy, and I'm not sure how long I can stick with it...but it seems like a good idea to get a bit of exercise in right now since I'm not able to go into work, which was where I got most of my exercise.  So I'm pretty excited about that, I just hope I'm able to stick with it for a while without giving up!